Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
