in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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