____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
