doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
