That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
