i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
