anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
