seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
