my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
party gras won. party gras always wins.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
