I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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