End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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