ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
