He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
