why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
