I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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