living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
