I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
