So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
