My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
