Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
