If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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