my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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