This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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