nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
