Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The best revenge is premature balding
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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