It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
