I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
