Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
