i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
are you so shy because you have an std?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
