Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
