guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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