She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Is Oprah even human
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
