plz talk dirty to me
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
