I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
