Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Randomize
