I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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