I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
