No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
