Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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