Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
