the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
