I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
