He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
