Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
