Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
