We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
