my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
