I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I have aggressive nipples.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
