sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
