Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
